Coffee & Cheer

Why I created this newsletter/blog.

Everything is on fire, and you should be scared

This is how your brain reads media headlines, found everywhere from your local bar & grill to your social media feed and even your company slack channels. It feels inescapable. For the past 8 months I told myself, it doesn't bother me, that's just the media, they love to get your attention with negative stories because WHO would ever click on a headline that says sunny days ahead, one million recoveries, Grandma makes excellent Turkey on Thanksgiving? No one, because we're busy people who only stop for the news we think might be of critical importance.

Dealing with COVID anxiety

Despite my best efforts to convince myself otherwise, I found myself in the depths of anxiety and also acute panic at the seemingly most random times. I've never had anxiety before to any great extent (I've dealt with depressive episodes and my fair share of bullshit in life don't get me wrong, but not this particular brand of fear-based paralysis). Of course at first I thought these were heart attacks and that death was knocking at my door, but after googling profusely I found that I was just having panic attacks. Notice how I said JUST panic attacks. Anyone who has experienced this knows that's a bald faced lie and a panic attack is anything but JUST. They suck. A lot. The feeling of fear combined with a lack of control can really fuck with your brain's ability to deal with things, so we push our fears and emotions down into the depths of our bodies and, lo and behold, they come out in the form of chronic pain, panic, depression, crippling anxiety, and the like. Your brain will do anything to protect you from feeling that fear, that vulnerability, that emotion that could have you spiraling out of control. So, like an AA meeting, the first step is admitting you have emotions you wish you didn't have, and admitting that you do. Goodbye, suppressed feelings and emotions. I'm putting you out into the world because it's normal and fine, and they can't really hurt me. 👋

Social media and our toxic content addiction

I wanted to help people fight the narrative of doom and gloom, but realize that most of us aren't as busy as we once were, and hence the cycle of reading to keep your mind occupied, looking at social media, and becoming occasionally totally and utterly addicted to your phone. And again, this is normal and nothing to feel shame around. I have said aloud to multiple people, "I'm addicted to my phone." Because at the time, I could feel that I was. I waited for that moment when I could lay down and open my phone. Like an addict. While this is normal, it's not helpful.

Social media content is toxic in two main ways. On the one hand, everyone seems happy on social media so it reinforces your brain's way of thinking that all negative emotions are bad, giving you what Mark Manson calls the "Feedback Loop from Hell," where you get anxious and then you get anxious because you're anxious, and that makes you more anxious, and that makes you feel bad and guilty. Rinse and repeat. On the other hand, people share the most dramatic headlines to their pages to get attention and seem informed, and people read those headlines without reading the article, without thinking critically about the content, leaving only a negative emotional reaction and fear in their wake. This is why, as part of taking back the narrative on your life, I highly suggest doing a detox of social media for awhile. It doesn't have to be forever, but what if you tried going one month without it? What about one week? Just give yourself long enough to stop using it compulsively and truly feel the post-withdrawal feeling.

Coffee, cheer, comfort, and control

So, while social media sucks away a lot of our time and emotional energy, I know that we're all just looking to read and absorb content because our minds need more stimulation than they are getting right now, and I'm not trying to fight that. In fact, I think we can embrace that -- reading, writing, learning, and growing should be a part of this "winter" of life we are experiencing.

I wanted to contribute to this in a positive way, helping people have content that is interesting, stimulating, growth-oriented, beautiful, comforting, cheerful, and fucking funny to read and take in instead of the humdrum of Netflix documentaries about murders, media headlines about deaths, and seeing all your friends get fat ("friends..."). So, get off the merry-go-round of social media and cable news and sign up for my newsletter to get happy, cheerful, useful, and funny content and content recommendations to read on the weekends with your coffee.

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